“He said he admires us for moving out of our comfort zone,” Steve said of a conversation he’d had with another man.

“I think people admire us more than they should.” I replied.  “It’s probably not nearly as much of a stretch to us as it seems to other people because we love the city and so much of this.”

That was before we heard gunshots.  

Later the same evening when the boys were in bed and Steve and I were up reading much later than we should have been, we heard a gunshot (or maybe it was a firecracker, but it sure SOUNDED like a gunshot!).  At first I thought nothing of it.  I had become so accustomed to the sound of hunters in South Carolina.  Suddenly I realized there wasn’t a woods close to our house and it wasn’t target practice, either.  I wondered if we should darken the house.  

Being two not easily ruffled phlegmatic people, we kept reading awhile.  An hour and a half later, I heard the second shot.  Images of the angry faces and hopeless, slumped shoulders I had seen earlier when I drove home around dusk washed through my mind.  What is happening around us?  

Little reminders like this one…

—and the security or loss prevention personnel at the front of stores in our area–from Kroger to Target to Bed Bath and Beyond and even Goodwill

—and the scolding at a park for not wearing shoes on Ian (unsanitary, needles)

—and a repairman’s shock when Zachary opened the door (“You should not be opening the door!  Where is your momma?”)

…remind me that though I am not fearful, neither do I want to be naive.  

This is one of the big questions I have.  I want to believe that if God calls us to this work,  He will protect us when we serve in faith.  On the other hand, it is my responsibility as a mother to protect our children, and I don’t want to live recklessly.  Finding the reality between fearfulness and naivety will be a learning curve.  It would be a lot easier if there would be someone here to tell us what is safe and what’s not.  I guess we’ll find out little by little making mistakes as we go.  Always trusting.  Always learning.


2 thoughts on “fearful>>REALITY<<naivety”

  1. Scary! But how wonderful to know that God is looking out for you! Blessings to you as you’re a light in that dark area.

  2. Thank you for writing this; we now know better how to pray for you. It reminds me of the article I just read – “The Dark Side of Missions” – an encouragement to pray for missionaries for their safety. You say, “Always trusting. Always learning.” May I add, “always adding to your faith.”

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