For quite awhile I had known that I NEEDED to get more serious about exercise. When I got my health plan with an order for 30 min. of daily exercise and the mission announced a 5K about the same time, I had an incentive and a goal.
It took me a month before I admitted to anyone besides Steve that I was going to run a 5K because ha-ha-ha the thought of me running a little over three miles was just, well, laughable.
It was winter, then, and Steve and Christy do not run in the cold. And when I say cold I mean 30’s and 40’s. (Now you know how tough we are. To our credit: we complain about heat hardly ever) Lucky for us, the mission has a weight room which ended up being a perfect way to get started. We hit the treadmills every other day, and the boys had space to play in the room with us or the adjacent gym. Often there were even basketball or soccer games to watch.
At first I just tried to get my one mile finished a little faster. Then I inched my way to two miles and then finally to three. The day I finally ran longer than I walked was a huge milestone. Since then I have kept shaving a few seconds off my time, but wow this has been hard work!!!
At first I kept almost blacking out when I ran for a couple of minutes. I would be holding the treadmill to keep from falling! It was so confusing because I often heard people say that you need to push yourself harder and you need to keep going even when you feel like you can’t; yet when I pushed myself I got to a place where I couldn’t keep going. I finally learned that I needed to accept the limitations of my body now, slow down, and take baby steps.
You know what is really tough? Not being the best. Well, not only not being the best, but not being good at something. And even though I feel so good about how far I’ve come, that is still the battle I’m fighting now. Because I have worked so hard, and I am still slower than slow.
I told someone that I’ve hit a wall and I’m afraid I can’t do it. She said, “Well, you know you can always slow down and walk for a while.” Right….but see that’s still part of my routine. I can’t even get close to running the whole time. :( I’ve had a couple of really good days, but I often still get light headed (not so badly that I nearly fall over, so don’t freak out. Just enough that I have to stop running and really hold it together.)
Tonight I ran (Okay, ran/walked do you have to ask?) the route and had a rough night. I’d had a smoothie and hour earlier, and now I know not to do that before the race. Woah, that did not sit well. At all. I’m feeling kind of bummed because it ended up taking longer than 40 minutes since I got light headed more often again and had to walk for longer than normal–not to mention nearly vomiting a couple of times.
But…now that I’m writing this, and think that my mom (or my doctor, or some other friends) will probably suggest I walk more so that I don’t get light headed, I realize I really want to run. And that feels great. It is awesome to sometimes look forward to running.
And it’s pretty great to have accomplished this much in a few months. To go from living listlessly to running most of three miles is pretty great. Did I just use great in each of the last three sentences? Yes, I think I did. But all of this is pretty great, don’t you think?
So the run is this Saturday and I’m partially typing out all of this to help myself snap out of my discouragement. I need to be reminded that finishing is good, that I don’t need to be an awesomely fast runner, and that it’s okay to be competing with the walkers instead of the fastest runners.
If you’re feeling up to a 5K this weekend, you can still register for the Refuge Run here. If you would like to lope along beside me, that would be especially awesome.